The Naughty List - A Christmas Tradition

The Naughty List – A Christmas Tradition

Santa Claus is coming to town…or is he?

It is that magical time of year again. The malls are pumping out Christmas tunes and stores have all their Christmas decorations out to remind us that we don’t have much time left before the big day.

Unfortunately, Christmas songs are not the only thing you hear while shopping. It is also the time of year when many parents pull out the threat of the “naughty list”. The threat that Christmas will not happen and Santa will not come if you are bad. They say things like, “Santa is watching” and “Santa won’t come if you are naughty.” I realize that parents are desperately trying to keep their children in line before Christmas – and that the whole hype around the holidays just makes children more and more excited and less and less manageable. But, it is not fair to children to threaten to take away their holiday traditions, just because they are not behaving in a way that is acceptable to you.

It’s funny, because I am pretty sure that people who celebrate Christmas and do the whole “Santa thing” are the only ones dishing out the threats. I have never heard people who celebrate Hanukkah saying, “There will be no lighting of the menorah if you are bad” or what about Kwanza, are there parents out there saying, “No Kwanza for you!” I doubt it.  It seems to be a part of the whole Christmas tradition. It must be the Christians who came up with the idea of Santa watching us. Apparently we always need someone to watch us, just in case we step out of line. Basically, as adults there is the threat of going to hell which keeps us on our toes, and for children it is the threat of no toys (which, let’s face it – is their own idea of hell).

The whole concept of Santa being able to see us is a bit creepy. I can remember as a kid lying awake waiting for Santa to come and my mom saying, “Santa can’t come until you are asleep…he can see you.” So, you are telling me that I have to go to sleep so that a strange bearded man can sneak into the house, eat my cookies and leave me some presents…hmmm, made sense to me.

I have to say though, that I love Christmas. It is such a fun and magical time.  And, not only Christmas - but all of the holiday traditions that people share. The holidays are really about children. So, why are we threatening to take that away? Next time you want to pull out your “Santa isn’t going to come if you are bad card” – consider this.

Here is what your children hear when you threaten to take away their presents.

1)    The only reason to listen to my parents and be caring and considerate of others is to get what I want (presents).

2)     The way that you behave has so much power that you can change holiday traditions.

3)    Getting presents is the most important part of the holidays.

4)    As your parent, if I don’t like the way that you are behaving, I have the right to take away something very special to you.

5)    Santa won’t like you if you are bad.

 

 

I know that it is very tempting to use Santa as a means of getting your children to behave – but it is not a holiday tradition that you want to pass on from generation to generation. Besides, we all know how empty that threat is. Would you really take away your child’s imagination and love of that jolly old elf, just because they had been “naughty”? My guess is, no.

Think about all the wonderful things that you want to share with your children. The fun - the magic…and leave Santa out of your discipline strategies.

Here is a really fun way to make the idea of Santa come alive for your children – oh, and make sure that you put all of your children on the “Nice” list.

http://www.portablenorthpole.com/home

Happy Holidays!

 

 

Sesame Street, Golden Girls and Glee

You might be asking yourself, what do these television shows all have in common? Beside the fact that they are all great shows to watch, they happen to be Finley’s favourites.

How did that happen? Let me explain…

When I was pregnant with Finley, I can remember getting into some pretty interesting conversations with moms about their children. They always wanted to give me advice (unsolicited of course).  One mom I talked to asked me “what kind” of child I was hoping for. I assumed she meant boy or girl and I said the usual thing that most parents say, “I just want the baby to be healthy”. She looked at me funny and said, “Let’s hope you have one of those kids that you can just sit in front of the television and they will stay there. It makes things much easier.”  She then started to talk about the difference in her two children, how one was “able” to sit in front of the television (9 months old) while the other one would never sit still (3 years old).

I pictured this poor little baby sitting” watching” television hour after hour (who knows how long they actually watched ) and thinking, “Here is an uninformed parent – has she not read all the research about television watching for children?”

After Finley was born, we were adamant that she not watch television until she was at least 2 years old. We were following the latest research that suggested that television is not just a waste of time, but that it actually can cause damage to developing brains. The link below has the latest guidelines on activity for children under the age of four by the Canadian Society for Exercise Physiology:

http://www.csep.ca/CMFiles/Guidelines/AGREE%20SB%20report_March%2023_final.pdf

Seeing as both my partner and I love to watch television, this became quite the task. I wouldn’t say that we watch a lot of television, but we certainly had our favourite shows.

So, during her first year – Finley didn’t watch any television. We didn’t even want her in the same room as a television that was on.

When Finley got to be around 14-15 months old it all changed – slowly but surely she started to “watch” television.

Finley had fallen asleep on the couch one day so we took the opportunity to watch an episode of Glee that we had previously recorded. I guess the music woke her up and she looked at the TV in amazement. What was this bright and colourful box that made wonderful sounds? She stared at it for a while. My partner and I looked at each other,“She’s not supposed to watch television until she is 2 years old” I said.  Then Finley got so excited and started to dance. She seemed to be mimicking the dancers on the show. You could tell that she loved the music – it connected with something inside of her.

One of Finley’s favourite’s (and mine): the Adele mash-up from the last season of Glee:

From then on, we all watched Glee once a week. Finley continued to dance around the living room – coming up with different movements each week. We figured…once a week…that can’t be that bad…can it? We worried that we were causing some sort of cognitive problems in our child…would she be delayed in school because we let her watch Glee. Would it be all over the papers, “Parents Let Child Under Two Watch Glee, Causes Brain Delay”.

Then I remembered a child from one of the daycares I had worked at. Her family didn’t believe in watching television – she had never really seen one. The staff decided to have a movie day to celebrate the end of the year and we were watching some Disney Film. The parents were fine with their child watching a movie with all her friends, but they weren’t sure how she would handle it. She seemed very excited to be in a dark room with all her friends, waiting for the movie to come on. The movie started and I can still see the look of sheer PANIC on that child’s face. She got so upset that she ran from the room and refused to come back. She stayed in another room for the rest of the movie, playing with blocks and puzzles – but missed out on an opportunity to be with her friends. Afterwards, all the children were talking about the movie and this little girl was left out of the conversations. I felt bad for her and wondered if eliminating all television had really benefited her in the long run.

We didn’t want Finley to be babysat by the television, but we also didn’t want her to run screaming from a room when a television was on. We decided that there needed to be a balance.

After the season of Glee ended, we thought it might be good to introduce her to some educational programs for children (there aren’t that many out there). We showed her a few episodes of Sesame Street (once a week) and she was hooked.

Here is Glee on Sesame Street – the best of both worlds!

Elmo is her favourite character – what’s not to love about Elmo! He is a bright red puppet that is full of laughter and love.

(Side Note: See the Documentary “Being Elmo” – it is great http://beingelmo.com/)

Then came the Golden Girls. Yes, that’s right – the show about 4 old ladies eating cheesecake. I happen to have the whole collection! Finley found one of the DVD cases one day and started to ask questions about it (in her own little way). I pointed out all the characters and explained that they were all actors that had roles on the television show. We showed her one episode to see what she would do…and she loved it – I mean looooooooved it.

Her favourite character is Rose (Betty White) – what’s not to love about Betty White? She is a bright shining light, full of laughter and love.

Now she asks to watch the “Gee Gees” almost every day, and wants us to sing the theme song to her in order for her to go to sleep.  For a Golden Girls theme song refresher click here:

At this point, Finley probably watches television every other day for about an hour. Sometimes Sesame Street, but it is usually the Golden Girls (hilarious, I know). It is important to note that Finley doesn’t watch it by herself – it is something fun that we do together as a family.

We try not to feel guilty about her time spent in front of the television and for all those parents out there who allow their children to watch some television – you shouldn’t feel guilty either! Television is a part of our society, they are found in most homes. Most living rooms are designed to have the TV be the focal point of the room – all of our furniture faces it (this is the bigger concern for our society in general…but that is probably not going to change).

So, moderation is the key. I still believe that television has no educational/entertainment value to any child under the age of one and many children under the age of two. They are just not at a cognitive level that allows them to process all of the different messages, images and signals. However, if your child is between the ages of 12 and 24 months and you feel that they are “ready” to watch television, test it out. Do they interact with the program that they are watching? Do they point and seem to want to know more about what they are seeing? Or, do they stare blankly at the screen? If they are not really showing any interest in what they are watching, they are not ready.

One of the biggest concerns about children watching too much television is that they are not interacting with other people – so make it an interactive experience. Ask them questions about what they are seeing. What is Elmo learning about today? Do you remember the letter/number of the day? Etc…

Finding a balance can be hard, but as your children get older, television will most likely play a role in their lives. Make sure you know what they are watching, which is a whole other blog post, and limit their “sedentary time”.

Television isn't all bad…especially if you're watching Sesame Street, Golden Girls and Glee, just ask Finley!

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Emergent Parenting

As you may have read already in my profile, I am an Early Childhood Educator and a mother of a wonderful 19 month old girl named Finley. She is very bright and involves herself in many different things, so it can be a challenge coming up with activities that will hold her attention and build on her skills.  As an emergent parent, I facilitate her learning by really paying attention to the things that she likes. In the Early Childhood Education field, we talk a lot about Emergent Curriculum. This follows a similar principle that children learn best when they are interested in what you are teaching.  Many child care centres have adopted this teaching philosophy because it is an approach to teaching that recognizes that children are leaders for their own learning. This is a conscious way of teaching, meaning that you observe the children – discover their interests and then incorporate that into your curriculum plan. This same principle can be used as a parent. You don’t have to be an Early Childhood Educator to implement these principles into your regular schedule.

The first step to being an emergent parent is observing your children. I know that it may seem daunting to add yet another thing to your routine, but this will have huge benefits to both you and your children. Take some time once a week to sit back and watch your children (enjoy a cup of coffee at the same time). What toys are they interested in? What are they saying? What books do they show an interest in? Write down the date and what you see and hear in a journal. This journal will also be a keepsake that you can show your children when they are older. When you get some time to yourself (after they have gone to sleep), go over what you have written. If you notice, for example, that your child is showing an interest in balls – come up with activities that include balls, but that are also educational. It is important to plan activities that enhance all of the developmental domains (Cognitive, Social, Emotional, Creative and Physical).

Example 1: Talk to your child about different sizes, using balls to indicate small, medium and large (Cognitive). Example 2: Bring a ball outside and play a game with some neighbourhood children (Social+ Physical). Example 3:  Make a chart and see which ball bounces the highest (Cognitive). Example 4: Use balls in an art activity, by rolling them through paint (Creative). Example 5: Buy some inexpensive balls that have no images on them and use a permanent marker to draw faces on them – happy, sad, angry etc. Talk about the different emotions that each ball represents and then use the balls in a game. Have your child show emotion through bouncing the angry ball, Twirling the happy ball and rolling the sad ball. You can also have your child come up with different movements for the balls. (Emotional)

If you are really into it (and you have the time), take pictures of your child while they do these activities and then add them into your journal. You can also decorate them by including some of the art work that they do.

There are so many different ways to encourage your child’s learning by using things that they are interested in. By focussing on what they want to do, you can help your children grow in each of the developmental domains (Cognitive, Social, Emotional, Creative, and Physical).  If you're interested in learning more about emergent curriculum, check out this link: http://www.frfp.ca/professional-resources/program-planning-and-resources/Emergent-Curriculum/Emergent-curriculum-for-infants-and-toddlers-booklet-Canadian-Child-Care-Federation.pdf.

If you are having some difficulty coming up with activities that match your child’s interests, feel free to comment on this blog or send me an email and I'd be happy to give you some ideas.

- PM